3 weeks ago, I decided that I would run my body into the ground as best I could while still pursuing maximal weights as often as possible.  I would say that I’ve succeeded in that.  For the majority of my current existence, I walk around in a constant fog completely devoid of any personality or creativity.  2 days ago, I opened and poured 3 packages of half and half into the garbage before realizing that there was no crème in my coffee which has no effect on me anyways.  I drink it for the taste alone.  My classmates find me hopelessly useless.   I can only imagine what my teachers think when they see a large, brown, open mouthed husk taking up space in the back of the classroom.  Conversations usually end up in silence after I awkwardly try to feign interest in who the fuck cares.  And most importantly, I haven’t been able to create anything .  Nothing.  There’s just no time and even less energy or inspiration.

Pretty much every Thursday is when I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, which in my opinion makes it the most important workout of the week even though the weights lifted are a fraction of what I am able to do the next day.  I feel that if I allow myself to give in to the pains in my body and the deafening monotony then I have failed.  Because I know that just 100 miles away the Cal Strength guys are working harder and lifting heavier than I am every single day.  That’s all I need to force myself to start warming up and putting weights on the bar.  The first rep is always the worst.  It feels like tearing a Band-Aid off of my broken spirit.  I take 50 kilos again and again until I force myself to wake up.  I’ll lower myself to the bar and it will feel like I literally CANNOT perform the motion.  I force it.  It starts to come back and once again there is some level of consistency.  70. 90. 100.  Each one begins to hurt less and less.  For once, it’s not about the weights, it’s about regaining what I’ve lost.  And at the end of my “workout” I feel relieved that I didn’t leave that until the next day.  If I have to “peel the Band-Aid off” Friday morning, then Friday night won’t be everything it could be.  It would be another missed opportunity.  And I fucking hate missed opportunities.

In the hour and a half of free time before I go to sleep, I take comfort in writing to you.  Even if you don’t give a shit.  Even if you think I’m some kind of idiot for pursuing something so fanatically; something that everyone knows that I just don’t have the genetics or the upbringing to excel at.  I write to you because it’s fun and gives me time to organize my thoughts, but most importantly, it requires nothing from me.  So thanks.

I just got this album by the way. Expect a review from me at some point.  Spoiler alert: 10.0.

Sarah informed me that today is apparently Star Wars Day.  To celebrate, I’m going to try to fit in as many Star Wars quotes into casual conversation as possible.  I also might try to put on some John Williams at the gym whilst I teach classes.  This may result in me getting stoned to death.  And I’m not talking about weed.  I’m talking about biblical scale corporal punishment.

"It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."

Questions:

What’s your favorite Star Wars song?  (post link in the comments section)

What are some of your favorite lines?

AM

The will was there, but the body wasn’t so much.  I had a hard time gettin’ going this morning.

Snatches off the blocks:  worked up to 130×2.

Clean and jerks:  “Nobelted” 150.  Had a couple misses at 60.

PM

I’m going to be pressed for time today, but I really don’t want to miss a workout.  At the same time,  if I rush my rest period and try running in guns a’blazin, it’ll probably end up not being productive anyways.  I’ll play it by ear.  Snatch, clean and jerks and squats are on the menu.  As always, snatches and cleans are the priority.  But I may end up only having time to squat.

Squats: I squatted 1st because it’s the easiest thing to do when I’m in a rush.  Took it up to 220 EZPZ.

Snatch:  130 in under 5 minutes.

I didn’t have time to do cleans.

May 3, 2011

Kind of a bland workout today, but worth noting because I deviated outside of my normal power snatch/clean routine.  I decided NOT to power snatch because it hurt my knees too much to even have them flexed in my starting position.  My start position for my cleans is a little higher and hurts less.  It took about 45 minutes of mobility work before I felt ready enough to lift weights.

PM

Mobility: after unlocking my legs and back, I spent about 15 minutes on a new shoulder mobility drill that I invented for the rack position.  It’s pretty freakin’ sweet and I’ll post some video of it on a later date.

Power cleans: worked up to 130.  bitched out at 40.

Goodmornings with a rounded bar suspended from chains:  Say whaaaaat??

Truthfully, I just felt like I couldn’t snatch.  And on some days, it’s best not to force it or I probably would have ended up on the floor (like last week.)  I’ve started to include a little bit more hamstring work for pain management purposes.  I’ll try to get some video of this particular exercise at some point (or you could look up some of the Super Training vids, they do them all the time.)  I perform it Olympic style with my regular narrow stance, initiating at what best mirrors the beginning of the 2nd pull (where the bar is right below your knee cap.)

glute-ham raises: 3×10

Swag.

May 2, 2011

I lifted this morning like the weights were owed to me.  I took bigger jumps and didn’t even pull up the knee wraps until my maximal attempts.  That’s what I need more of: less hesitation, more confidence, more swag.

AM

Snatch:  took it up to a pretty dece’ 135.

Clean and jerks:  Jumped from 100 to 130.  130 to 150.  Pulled up my knee wraps and put on a belt and hit a nice 160.  Then I started thinking again.  Loaded 167 but knew I wouldn’t get it before I even pulled it off the floor.

If you look back about a month ago, morning practices did NOT look like this.  I would have to work my ass off to barely get a 150 clean and a 295 total was a rare occurrence.

PM

Had less rest between sessions today.  Irregardless, I still had a pretty solid session.

Snatch:  took it up to 130.  Missed 140.  Worked back up from 100 and did a set of 4 at 130.  Observe.

Clean and jerks:  I had limited time and was a little smoked after my snatches but worked up to 160 again.  Cleaned it but missed the jerk.

Congrats to my 2 lifters who, between the 2 of them, walked away with more PRs in one day than I’ve seen in the last 2 years.

Speaking of swag, peep this track.  It will make you feel sexy, I guarantee it.