Meme Contest.

January 28, 2016

I had a caption contest for an unflattering photo of me lifting the other day which inevitably turned into a meme contest.

This was the winner.



Pump it Up.

September 2, 2015

This came to me while I was making my morning crew listen to Elvis Costello While squatting.

He does have some moves though.

He does have some moves though.


How you feel when you make a double at 90%.

I know, it’s old.  Still good though!

I remember the first time I snatched 130kg for a double.  It was me, Jon North, my old coach Jackie, and two other of my Sac state lifting buddies in the old Sac High weightroom.  I hit the first one and was so excited I forgot I was going for a double until Jackie started yelling at me.  I hit the second and then lost my mind for like 20 seconds.

This was in like 2007 or 2008.  Weightlifting felt so new.

Coming soon.

January 6, 2015

Coming soon,

Bodyweight strengthening for big biscuits part 1.

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Functional bro, bro.

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Jelly of this functional functioness, bro?

Though by the time part 2 comes out, I might have to change the title to bodyweight strengthening for regular size biscuits.  Current bodyweight: 245lbs.

Yeah, I know it’s a reference to a different Christmas movie.  But we all know there is only ONE Christmas Movie.


Nakatomi Plaza 4 lyf.

The American Open Video is uploading right meow.  Merry Christmas.

Game: That Face.

November 20, 2014

Preface: if you are easily offended or experience heightened emotions while talking about diet, exercise or lifting weights, follow someone else’s blog.  This post contains humor.  

Coaching weightlifting does things to you.  It hardens your soul and turns your once pink, fluffy foundation that was once so full of life into cold granite.  Your objectivity will be rivaled only by the amount of difficulty you will find it to be impressed by anything.  You do your best to provide your lifters guidance through their learning and adaptation process, knowing full well that you experienced all of the same emotions and tendencies that they do.  Perhaps your new demeanor is pointed more at the memory of yourself than anyone else.  But sometimes you just can’t help but make . . .

that face.

Make no mistake, there is care and commitment to your progress in those eyes.  But there is also a quiet contempt and distain that can only be rivaled by your mother's glare when she found your stack of Playboy's hidden under your box spring.

Make no mistake, there is care and commitment to your progress in those eyes. But there is also a quiet contempt and distain that can only be rivaled by your mother’s glare when she found your stack of Playboy’s hidden under your box spring.

So here’s a game I made up.  It’s called “That Face” or “Coaches Face”  I haven’t decided which is catchier.  Feel free to play along in the comments section.  I may do more installments in the future.  This edition is dedicated (lovingly) to the new lifter (2 or less years).

When your new lifter:

1) Asks if he has time to use the restroom when he’s 3 attempts out.  

2) Sees youtube video.  Insists on switching to power or squat jerk.

3) reads “article.”  insists on “training like the Chinese.”

4) Complains that gym doesn’t have jerk blocks.  Best jerk is 275lbs.

5) Refuses to run team program.  Runs smolov.  Wonders why he misses 90%s. 

6) Pays obscene amount of money to watch a clearly geared lifter max out at seminar (this in itself is not necessarily negative).  Talks negatively about different lifter who is popped for PED use. (wat.)

7)  Doesn’t PR for 2 weeks.  Feels like he’s not making enough progress.

8) Refuses to do meet because he “isn’t competitive enough.”  

9) Insists on switching to split snatch because of femur length. (wat.)

10) Asks if you teach lifters to be “bangers” or “brushers.” (wat.)

That’s all I got for now.  I’ll post an edit if I think up a few more.

Overbearing Bro Meme.

June 25, 2014

I’ve been without internet for a while so blogging has been challenging.  But I’m going to attempt to post something at least 4 times a week leading up to Nationals because it’s a ritual which I believe keeps me on focused.  So here we go.  I’m going to start with a completely ridiculous thing I’ve been trying to get to catch on over the last couple weeks.

I’ve got a BFF.  Lately, during conversation I’ll respond to whatever he’s saying by extending my hand inches away from his face and doing an overly emphatic “shaka” sign for about 3 seconds, which for him is about 3 seconds too long.  I’ll usually pair this with an overbearing  “BRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Basically it’s the most annoying thing ever.  I call it “overbearing bro meme.”  If you have a better name for it, I’m open to suggestions.  Be careful.  It’s addicting.  After a while, you’ll basically be doing a parody of yourself.


“BROOOOOOOOOO!!!”  Scott is onboard with the overbearing bro photobomb.  


Funny Story: Pumped up A&P.

February 3, 2014

So get this.  Brent walks into the gym a couple weeks ago and he’s like, “Dude, some natural bodybuilders had a pose down in my anatomy class today.”  I was like, “that’s cool.”  But really I was thinking, “man, I’m super jealous.  My anatomy and physiology professors didn’t do anything cool like that back when I was taking those classes.”  Then a week later, Alberto from 3DMJ uploads a video of the incident.  Small world, huh?

Small world.  Big lats.

A word of advice to the younger crowd just starting their major in kinesiology, exercise science, public health or related fields: do a REALLY good job in in both anatomy and physiology as it will give you a great base for the rest of your coursework.  Also, it will allow you to see through the bullshit of psuedo-science guy either lurking on the internet or a trainer in the gym who just finished reading a few “articles” on the internet and now apparently has a doctorate in PT.


December 5, 2013

Sooo I haven’t posted anything in a while.

Here’s why.

Just kidding.  I’ve been busy getting ready for the American Open.  But seriously.

Check the USAW site for the schedule and webcast info.  Jason, Emelie and Rae will also be competing.